Yo, 2009 is here and I’ve been thinking… maybe it’s time I do something more worthwhile with my life. I mean, playing football and being worth $40 mil is cool and all, but there has to be more important things in life than being with one gorgeous (or semi-gorgeous… I don’t discriminate) woman after the next. Having cars, shoes, clothes, fame, and money (lots of money) actually gets boring.
It almost makes me feel empty inside. Like a donut. I feel like I need to dig deeper in my soul. So, here are some resolutions I’ve made for the ’09. Let’s see if I stick to them:
1. Maybe I’ll go to church with Ding Dong a couple times. Can’t hurt to see what the man upstairs has to say.
2. I think I’ll donate some of my shoes to the Goodwill.
3. Maybe I’ll give Tee Tee a little raise. He has been hooking up my omelettes lately.
4. I’ll read to the kids at the Boys & Girls club once a month.
5. I should call my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Hunt and confess that it was me who put the Whoopee cushion on her chair that day in 1989.
Pshhhhh! PSYCHE!!!
Me? Go to church with Ding-Dong? Yeah right. Have you seen the drama life lately? No, thank you! Sundays are reserved for work outs, X-Box, and, of course, Football. God knows I gotta work.
Tee Tee does hook up the omelets, but that boy don’t need no raise. He’s lucky I keep him employed at all. Hell, we’re in a recession.
Ms. Hunt don’t need to know nothing about that Whoopee cushion situation. My mama would still beat my ass if she found out. Tee Tee actually took the wrap for that and my guilt is what keeps him employed. (Hmm… maybe I should give him that raise.)
Y’all, outside of the charities, resolutions are pointless. You need to live life to the fullest everyday.
Hell, I’m Malik Wright, baby. My life is great!
Now, I gotta go see if Tee Tee finished the guest list for my New Year’s Eve party.
Happy New Year!
Peace.
Monday, January 5, 2009
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