Tee Tee's Poll

Hey y'all, i know you've been hearing the rumors flying around about me being light in the cleats and i assure you that none of them are true. Tee Tee thought it'd be "edifying" (whatever that means) to throw up a poll about it, but i told him no one's going to believe Malik Wright is loving the dudes. Regardless, answer the poll and prove my faith in you, my fans. Oh yeah. and ignore that last option about the off season. Tee Tee thinks he's being funny, but we'll see how much laughing he's doing when he's sleeping at the bus stop.

Does Malik play for the other team?

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Years’ resolutions

Yo, 2009 is here and I’ve been thinking… maybe it’s time I do something more worthwhile with my life. I mean, playing football and being worth $40 mil is cool and all, but there has to be more important things in life than being with one gorgeous (or semi-gorgeous… I don’t discriminate) woman after the next. Having cars, shoes, clothes, fame, and money (lots of money) actually gets boring.

It almost makes me feel empty inside. Like a donut. I feel like I need to dig deeper in my soul. So, here are some resolutions I’ve made for the ’09. Let’s see if I stick to them:

1. Maybe I’ll go to church with Ding Dong a couple times. Can’t hurt to see what the man upstairs has to say.
2. I think I’ll donate some of my shoes to the Goodwill.
3. Maybe I’ll give Tee Tee a little raise. He has been hooking up my omelettes lately.
4. I’ll read to the kids at the Boys & Girls club once a month.
5. I should call my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. Hunt and confess that it was me who put the Whoopee cushion on her chair that day in 1989.

Pshhhhh! PSYCHE!!!

Me? Go to church with Ding-Dong? Yeah right. Have you seen the drama life lately? No, thank you! Sundays are reserved for work outs, X-Box, and, of course, Football. God knows I gotta work.

Tee Tee does hook up the omelets, but that boy don’t need no raise. He’s lucky I keep him employed at all. Hell, we’re in a recession.

Ms. Hunt don’t need to know nothing about that Whoopee cushion situation. My mama would still beat my ass if she found out. Tee Tee actually took the wrap for that and my guilt is what keeps him employed. (Hmm… maybe I should give him that raise.)

Y’all, outside of the charities, resolutions are pointless. You need to live life to the fullest everyday.

Hell, I’m Malik Wright, baby. My life is great!
Now, I gotta go see if Tee Tee finished the guest list for my New Year’s Eve party.

Happy New Year!


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Decisions, Decisions

Okay, so I’m having a problem leaving my crib every day because I don’t know which car to drive. I got the Bentley, the Ferrari, the Porsche, the Mercedez Maybach, S-class and G Wagon, and the Hummer. I kind of feel like I should push the Hummer on gameday because that’s like a tank and a game is like going to battle. Maybe y’all could help me figure out what to do the rest of the week. I can’t be late for practice no more. Coach keeps fining me. Oh, and notice there’s more cars than days, so I can rock two cars one day out of the week. I need help. Get at me. ‘Lik.

New Name

I think it’s happened. I think I’m over “Malik Wright.”

It’s so… regular. I mean, just say it out loud. Malik. Wright. It might as well be John Smith or Michael Jackson. We’re a dime a dozen. I need something that will stand out. I stand out. Is it time for a change? Diddy’s changed his name a hundred times. Chad Johnson is now Chad Ocho Cinco. (I docked Tee Tee’s pay for not thinking of that). I’m thinking something along the lines of… Malik T. “BestThatEverDidIt.” My middle initial will stand for “The.” That’ll look real nice on the back of a jersey. What do you all think? Got suggestions? Get at me…

Out. ‘Lik

Episode #1

Yo, it’s going down y’all. Moms is on me. She’s hunting me down like I’m some damn dog. She knows I did something… but she don’t know I married Robin Givens. Have any of y’all ever had to hide from your moms? If so, get at me. I could use some advice. I’m running out of ideas.

One to ya’. ‘Lik